“I’m trying new things, but nothing changes this feeling of emptiness inside.”
“I’m super motivated to start something new, but what?”
“I feel like I’m caught in madness. How long will this last?”
Have you felt it too?
I’ve talked with a lot of women about the changes we go through in our 40s and 50s. It’s this feeling of wanting … more … yet the frustration almost overwhelms us with trying to figure out what.
- Do you want a new job?
- Do you want a new career?
- Do you want a new spouse or partner?
- Do you want new friends?
- Do you want a new home?
- Do you want to move to a new location??Do you want new hobbies?
Sometimes they are obvious. But sometimes they aren’t. You might not be unhappy with a situation, but you can’t get past the constant thought of asking: Is this all there is?
Maybe it comes from our Western way of thinking. Somewhere in the back of our minds, we expect life to be handled in a two hour window, with one very simple goal in mind.
It’s the Big Screen Paradox. Even the most cumbersome of problems can be solved in a two hour window of time. We’ve been witnessing it over and over again since we were kids.
- Solve a murder in two hours? Not a problem.
- Find the person of your dreams in two hours? It’s possible.
- Escape life and find your purpose in two hours? The directors make it look easy.
But somewhere lost in all of those hours we spend watching a screen we lose the perspective that it’s not always that easy in real life.
We grow up with this feeling that we’ll eventually “get it.” We’ll find our passion and have the perfect job. We’ll make money from a career we love. We’ll thrive on the work we do. Our relationships will be perfect. We’ll eventually achieve the American Dream and life will be good!
And then when it’s not, it sucks.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best:
Life is a journey, not a destination.
What made you happy at 10 would be ridiculous at 25. Your thoughts and goals and dreams at 30 will invariably be different than what you’ll desire at 60.
To think otherwise is, well, laughable.
Yet somewhere in our minds, we assume that once we hit a certain age, it will all make sense.
Guess what? It doesn’t.
Your perspective changes.
Where do you go from here?
Recognize that you’re at a place where things no longer make sense. Then do something about it. Nothing big or rash. If you’re in a health relationship, you don’t want to walk out the door. If your job pays the bills, you don’t want to hand in your resignation.
But you can do things to make your life more exciting. To open up the potential to see things in a new light.
Remember, it’s a journey.
So if you’ve always wanted to take up dancing, do it. Sign up for a class at your local rec center. Not only will it get you away from your norm, you’ll meet new and interesting people too.
That can lead you in all kinds of directions you’ve never thought of before.
Let it grow. Let it stretch. Let it fester. Let it breed. Let it change you.
Accept it as a part of your journey.
This is all a part of the process. Investing in yourself means moving in a new direction. It doesn’t mean forward, backwards, up, or down. It means something new for you. Living in the now.
Take this moment and simply take a deep breath. Smile. Be in the moment. And ask: