Have you ever been scared to reveal who you really are?
Yep, me too.
I’d surrounded myself with all kinds of people. Looking back, I think it’s a product of being a Gen Xer. When I moved from the teens to my twenties, the world was a freer place. Or at least, it seemed so in my eyes. I didn’t think about religion, politics, or any of the “scandalous” topics that are dealbreakers for friendships in today’s world. If you had a differing opinion, you debated it, shook hands, and went out to dinner the very next evening. Now you stomp out of the room and never look back. Ever.
And that hurts. When a friend you’ve had for years and years never wants to speak to you again because you don’t agree with their religion or their politics, it’s a painful breakup. When a family member – someone you trusted with everything – turns their back on you until you “change” to their way of thinking, it makes you question everything.
Maybe you should conform. Maybe you should remain silent. Maybe you should just do “whatever” to fit in with your current crowd.
Or maybe you need to throw it all to the wind and be who you’re meant to be.
You live life your way
If you do something for someone else, there’s always this nagging feeling in the back of your mind that starts formulating how you can do something else. The closer you come to making that feeling a reality, the better your life becomes.
You do what makes you happy
Happiness is a state of being. Read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, The Art Of Happiness by the Dalai Lama, or The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. Happiness isn’t something you can achieve; it’s something you are. You have it inside of you, to have in place right now. The more you do what’s right for you, the better you feel about your days. And that’s where happiness begins.
You pursue things that interest you
Putting other people’s interest before yours means your interests get left behind. But once you enjoy something, put you first, and begin discovering your bliss, the more you learn you want to pursue it. Take writing for example. I never knew how much I enjoyed it until I did it. Then I started writing for clients. And eventually, I began writing books, novels. The more I did it, the more I wanted to learn. I developed rituals. I took classes. It allowed me to become a better me.
You have motivation every single day
Monday’s excite me. Of course, by working at home, on a laptop, I really don’t have Mondays anymore. I love every day of the week! I love getting up and sitting down at my computer, spending time writing just for me. I’m motivated to do it because I enjoy it. The more I enjoy it, the more motivated I become. Passion works that way. If you enjoy what you’re doing, you’ll desire it more every day. And that’s a pretty good place to be each day when you wake up.
You ignore the crap
Guess what? I have no idea what made the top news today. And I could care less. Because I don’t care how the latest political campaigner ripped apart his counterpart. Or who murdered who. All the evil in the world won’t make me a better person. And for the most part, doesn’t involve me whatsoever. And no matter who you are or where you go, the largest news stories always come across your radar, you’re not going to miss the big stuff. But the little nitpicky crap simply disappears. Giving you more time to focus on the good stuff.
You like living
Every day is a great day if you want it to be. You do things because you want to, not because it’s expected of you. You look for the joy in everything you do. You radiate it. People are attracted to you because of it. And as a part of that process, you become a little more excited about each part of the day, striving to do it all a little better. Like cooking a little healthier. Walking a few more minutes. Talking a little longer. Laughing a little louder. Every bit of it gets better, so why not do more of it?
You have things to look forward to
Have you ever noticed that when you really like something, it leads to other things? When I mentioned I was writing a book, it led me to be introduced to a writing teacher I’ve learned a lot from. I met an amazing woman I’ve become online friends with, and hopefully will meet one day (she lives half way around the world). Which has led me to a group I’m now a part of and will be attending their annual convention in a few months. New opportunities are just around the corner. And not just the things someone else “makes” you do, things you truly have a desire to do.
You like who you become
Maybe it started out that “they” didn’t want you to change because “they” liked who you were. They molded you into their idea of a friend of family member. You were “their” perfect model. But not yours. You could feel every wrong move you made deep in your bones.
Until you did it all for you. “They” left. “They” moved on. Because “they” didn’t like the new you, always thinking for yourself, expressing your own ideas and beliefs, becoming the best “you” you can be. You’re happy. They aren’t. So “they” left. And now it’s time to find a new tribe that likes the new you. Who accepts the new you. Wants more of you. Wants you to be better. Wants you to be more.
You want to do more
Finding all of this puts you in a different state of mind. It motivates you. It stimulates you. It inspires you to do and be more.
What if we could turn the world into a place where we accept rather than have the desire to change? What if we value people for what they are rather than what they can do for you? What if you become the best you can be in order to influence those around you to be all they can be as well?