If you could change one thing in your life, improve it a little, what would it be?
Do you have goals and dreams you’ve set aside because of “life,” yet they’re still there waiting for action?
I get it. More importantly, I’ve written this post for women who are:
- Ready to reinvent their lives now that they’ve hit the BIG birthday.
- Feeling burned out, stuck, and blah after coming out of the year we’ve just had.
- Wanting to make positive changes in their health, career, finances, or even relationships, but aren’t quite sure where to start.
- Ready for the best version of their lives … Right NOW!
Sounds good, right? We all want a little positivity in our lives, no matter where we sit right now.
But then the news comes on, you open the newspaper, or you have a fight with someone you used to be close to. Life sucks at the moment, doesn’t it? Who are you to think you could find MORE right now in your life?
Oh, the ever-growing ping pong game of back and forth. We’ve seemed to perfect it in midlife. We go back and forth, wanting more, than wondering who we think we are to try and reach for MORE.
When most of us decide it’s time for a change, we look externally. We take a good look at what we don’t like – a job we hate, a spouse we fight with, a geographical location that no longer suits our needs – and we dream of something better. The external stuff is easy to visualize. And we often have someone in mind who is living our desired life.
Ever said: Oh, if I could only live like she does. She has it so easy.
The reality is you need internal work if you’re going to make real change stick. Because changing your life starts with taking a hard look at everything in your life. You have to see the muck before you can do something to change it.
How do you do that?
Do something. Anything.
A lot of people remain stuck because they live life as they always have. If you get up at the same time, watch the same television programs, go to the same job, hang out with the same friends, and visit the same places, over and over and over again, you’re going to get the same results.
Einstein said: The definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results.
If you feel stuck, if you want a change in your life, you have to do something different. Anything.
Change won’t find you. You have to find the motivation to make the change. And that comes from action.
Just do something. Anything. And change will happen.
There’s a tradeoff for everything.
Procrastination often occurs because people can’t “see” their lives without the things currently in it. You can’t leave a group because they’re your friends. You can’t say no to your boss when he asks you to join a new committee because it might impact your job.
Everything has an opportunity cost. Those who make the most change learn how to say NO effectively.
Think for a moment. What’s the worst thing in your life right now? The thing you’d gladly get rid of? The thing you say “I hate this” over and over again as you do it.
Say no to it. Put something else in its place.
Stop worrying about what THEY think. Concern yourself with what YOU think.
In most cases, nobody cares what you think or what you do. They are so self-absorbed in their own lives that they really don’t think much about yours.
Sounds harsh. But in reality, it’s liberating. If nobody cares, why do YOU care so much?
If someone tries to talk you out of something, it’s more about them. You’re rocking the boat, changing their little world, and they want you to stop.
Is that what you want? Is that what’s right for you?
Or is now your time to grow?
Build new habits and forget the goals.
Most of us are goal obsessed, including me. I’ve taken enough self-development courses in my career to know that goals are the biggest way to accomplish no matter what you have planned for your life.
But guess what? I’ve had goals on my to-do list for years. If I’m not motivated, I’ll never accomplish them.
For me, goals work hand in hand with habits. If I want something in my life, I’ll put it there. And work it into my daily routine. Schedule it if necessary. Until it becomes ingrained in my behavior and I no longer have to think about it.
I’ll never let go of setting goals. But I also realize that I have to take action if I really want them in my life.
Stop the multitasking and expecting EVERYTHING.
I remember as I was coming out of college, women were told, “we can have it all.”
That’s what’s gotten most of us in trouble. The more you focus on, the more scattered you become. If you want a new job, a better relationship with your spouse, or a healthier lifestyle, you have to focus on that area of your life until the change is permanent.
It won’t happen overnight. And it definitely won’t happen if you don’t put energy towards it.
Choose what you want most, right now. Then make it so.
You can always choose something else later, when it’s time to choose something else.
Stop the perfection.
What will she think if I do this?
What will happen if I no longer do this?
The questions drive us crazy, don’t they? We’ve built this “perfect” life with everyone expecting something from us. We imagine the world falling apart if we’re not there, doing what we’ve always done.
Perfection exists only in our minds.
Stop trying so hard. Those that really matter will be there no matter what.
Let your guard down. Stop and smell the roses. Look at what’s in front of you and enjoy the simple pleasures in life.
Happiness only exists today. If you can’t find it today, no amount of “stuff” will ever help you find it. The only way to make change stick is to do so … and enjoy it … today.
Want guidance for achieving your goals?
Second Act Goals: A 6-Step Framework to Achieving Your Goals helps you break that feeling of being stuck once and for all, and provides you the clarity you need to move forward.