I remember sitting there, hating everything around me. A failing business. A stressed-out relationship. Surrounded by a community that didn’t get me. Doing work I didn’t like to do. Bogged down in the crap just trying to survive.
And no matter which way I turned, nothing worked. It was more crap. More negativity. Slowly going from bad to worse.
I was living in my own Dr Seuss land – the waiting place. You remember that place, don’t you, from Oh, The Places You’ll Go?
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
And when you’re there, it’s hell. Trust me, we all go there from time to time. And frankly, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Because that’s what builds up your resiliency. That’s what builds your character, makes you who you are.
I’m not saying it’s pleasant. If fact, it’s anything but.
But the most important part is to recognize it. Because when you recognize it, when you feel it, when you start seeing yourself living right there in the moment, you know what to do.
That’s when your second act is about to begin. That’s when you’re ready to take everything you’ve learned, turn it upside down, and start building in another direction.
That’s how your path changes courses, and becomes the best it can be.
I’m stuck. I hate where I am.
Then name it. I’m in The Waiting Place. And the only way to get out of there is to declutter your mind, get rid of the excuses, and deal with your emotions. That fear that you can’t move forward – what’s the worst that could happen? That fear of the unknown – have you ever steered yourself wrong before? That rage for the things around you that you can’t change – but what about the things that you can?
Declutter your mind, your life, your space. Because as you get rid of the things you no longer need, you allow other things to enter.
Give Yourself A Pat On The Back
Big change often comes with resentment and animosity. People don’t want you to change, that can bring problems into their lives. Instead of getting “I’m proud of you” or “job well done,” you hear a lot more “how could you?” instead.
Until you find where you need to be, you may be the only person that can give yourself a little praise. Take to heart your needs. Focus on your well-being, both physically and mentally. Allow yourself to dream. It’s never about living a perfect life; it’s about finding the authentic you. It’s about you visualizing what’s best for you and having the courage to reach out and grab it.
Stop looking at what you’re leaving behind. Build a plan for where you’re going. See yourself as the new you. Who have you become? What do you like most about that new person? What surrounds you? Who do you have in your life?
When I first decided to get serious about developing my desire for writing novels into a full time career, I headed online and did a little research. I found organizations to join, people to follow, groups to get involved with, classes to join. And every step of the way, I’ve met some incredible people. The more I bring these people into my life, the more it leads me to a new discovery about my new life.
You don’t have to find your tribe immediately. But reaching out and doing new things will lead the way. Don’t stay alone. Join groups. Don’t beg for friendship, but look to share all that you are. Learn to say no to what doesn’t motivate you and say yes to the things that will impact you most. Open up to new people, let them in. And stay away from toxic people, even if that means dismissing people currently in your life. That’s the only way to make room for the new.
Here’s my challenge to you this week:
Get serious about your new path. Even if you aren’t sure what it will be, there are signs all around you if you look. Do one thing at a time. Take on one activity each day. Start something new. Give something away. Make a change. All of it will lead to discovering another side of who you are meant to be.
It may be time for a little reinvention!