I heard love described today in a very interesting manner.
I was watching an interview with Sloane Crosley, author of The Clasp, who described love this way.
It’s like all the cookbooks available now to help you eat better. You don’t have to have them to tell you what to do; on some level you already know. You know they will be filled with recipes containing blueberries and kale. You know not to eat too late at night.
Love works the same way. It doesn’t have to be love at first sight. It can be with a best friend you’ve known since you were seven. Or someone you’ve been in a relationship with for a year. You just kind of know it when it’s there. Nothing magical about it. It just happens. Over time.
With all the people closest to you, you’ve fallen in love with them for the little things.
- For the way they make you smile or laugh
- For the way they stand behind you when you try new things
- For the way they show their true feelings
- For the way they listen to you, make you feel like you’re understood
- For the way they simply seem to know you, inside and out
And while all of that applies to the people in our lives, the same can be said for the life we lead.
We fall in love with our lives for a variety of reasons.
- We love the people we spend time with every day
- We love the difference we make with the job we work at
- We love the things around us, feel comfortable with their presence
- We love the location we’ve chosen to live, draw energy from just being
- We love the way we approach every moment of every day
It works. Until it doesn’t.
Did you have a hard time reading those and not having doubt flash before your eyes?
Then maybe you’re not as in love with your life as you could be.
Every step we take, from the moment we move through school and start making our own choices, is done with great care based on expectations. Choose a step based on you’re feelings and desires and you’ll be happy. Choose based on someone else’s belief, and your happiness factor wanes.
Head back in time to school to discover how true this is. When you moved from high school to college, did you choose your major based on your desires … or your parents? Did you select a job based on your interests … or how well it fit into the life others created for you?
I have a friend who became a teacher for two reasons. First, her mother told her it was a great position. Second, it was a great job for marriage and raising a family. But by the time she was in her forties, she found she hated every moment of it. And she realized she had never wanted to teach in the first place. With her kids moving out and facing the empty nest phase of her life, she considered her options and went back to what made her happiest while she was in college. She took more business classes and started a business of her own.
Life happens. And let’s face it, it’s hard to know what our futures will look like when we’re young and naive. Someone else’s advice works because we don’t have the experience to know otherwise.
And as we grow, we make different decisions based on a variety of different needs. Life can never be about your desires only. We make lots of decisions every day, and sometimes you have to put another’s needs before your own.
Yet that doesn’t mean you can’t move towards a bigger priority in your life, no matter where you are right now. You can always choose to better your current position, to enjoy where you are today in a better way.
- You can change careers.
- You can take on a new interest.
- You can find a new friend.
- You can join a new group.
- You can approach each day in an entirely new way.
And that’s where love comes into play.
Do you love your life? Do you love everything in it?
Because if you don’t, you probably already know where the hindrance is. You know there’s a relationship that’s stressed. You know you no longer enjoy the way you’ve lived in the past. You know your job doesn’t work anymore. You know something’s missing, and you know where the problem lies.
The only question is, “are you brave enough to find the answer?”
Because that’s the only way you’re going to fall in love with your life … again.