You can tell when I enjoy a book by two things: (a) I finish it all the way from beginning to end, and (b) many corners are dog-eared or I have enough highlights (if it’s an ebook) to fill pages of notes. This book fit the bill.
Daring Greatly is a quest into the field of vulnerability, and how it affects us on many levels, including the way we live, love, parent and lead.
On one of my dog-eared pages, I noted:
“It’s not what you do; it’s why you do it that makes the difference.”
Are my choices comforting and nourishing my spirit, or are they temporary reprieves from vulnerability and difficult emotions ultimately diminishing my spirit? Are my choices leading to my Wholeheartedness, or do they leave me feeling empty and searching?
These thoughts come from her chapter on Vulnerability Armory, and why we find ways to protect ourselves from a small child on up from being hurt, diminished and disappointed.
I see that time and again from people that stop short of their goals, stop short of bringing their ideas to fruition simply because they are vulnerable to the way they will be treated if they embark down this road of the great unknown.
Imagine if you acted on your idea and everyone around you told you what a bad idea it was. Could you really handle the criticism from the people you thought were closest to you?
Or maybe the reverse is true. Maybe you’re afraid of reaching worldwide success. What if everyone suddenly turns to you as the expert and you have more attention than you ever wanted? Do you really want to be in the limelight?
Isn’t it much easier to not do it at all?
Which is why I liked the statement, “It’s not what you do; it’s why you do it that makes the difference.”
And ultimately that’s why some people succeed … and why some people fail. They let their emotions get in the way of what they are capable of doing each day. They overthink the negatives that are possible, and in an attempt to avoid the negatives, convince themselves to do things for all the wrong reasons.
Let me give you an example.
A couple of years ago, I created a training program on developing a high-end newsletter to market a business. A prospect called to discuss whether this was the right program for her. Immediately she started in with negative language and confrontation when it came to marketing.
“I’ve tried newsletters and they don’t work,” she stated. “The marketplace is just too bad right now, nobody is buying no matter what you do. Business just isn’t the same as it was a few years ago and I don’t think there’s any way to succeed. Will this program show me a surefire way to get past this awful marketplace and gain clients I need so I don’t have to shut down my business?”
Yes, she could have purchased this program and she could have spent the time creating a newsletter and sending it out. But would it have worked?
Nope. Because she would have been doing it for all the wrong reasons.
Instead of building her business, her entire motivation was to prove everyone else was wrong.
If you believe something will work, you’ll put all of your effort into it. You’ll spend every moment working on it in a positive way. That energy will come through in a positive way, giving you positive results.
The same holds true for the negative side of things.
If your idea hasn’t moved from your mind yet, and you haven’t found a way to begin releasing it and making it into something more, why not?
It’s not your fear of what others think that is holding you back as much as the fear you have over yourself. Your armor is up. You’ve built a wall to protect you from you. Your fears within you have much more power than anything anyone else could say or do. You beat yourself up much more than anyone else could ever do.
Which means the only thing you really need to change to start moving into a new direction … is you.
Is today your day?